


Sam Winchester's First Love

by thatwriterlady



Series: 30 Day Writing Challenge 2015 [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Falling In Love, Fluff, Implied Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, M/M, Mention Of Homophobia, Sam admits something to Dean, Sam in Love, Sam supports Dean, Secrets, Sweet, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-30 09:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5159342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has a knack for figuring out all of his brother's secrets, but there is one that his little brother has held on to for years now, and he has no idea...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam Winchester's First Love

**Author's Note:**

> There is still a Destiel theme in here, but I figured Sam needed a little attention too, so some of these 30 Day fics will be Sam-Centric when I feel they need to be. So, I hope you enjoy this one.

**Sam’s First Love**

Dean liked to think that he knew all of his brother’s secrets. He thought he could read his brother well. Sam wore his heart on his sleeve and when something concerned him, he spoke up about it. Over the years, if Sam had any kind of secrets, Dean could usually sniff them out and then he’d needle his younger brother until he confessed. So Sam learned after a while that secrets were pointless.

Except _that_ secret.

Sometimes, when Sam was all alone, he would think of her. It was only when he was alone though, and always with fondness. There were many people he thought back on, but not many that were still alive. She was though, and Sam was glad for that. She’d been something special and thinking about her always brought a smile to his face. He only thought of her when he was alone though. Heaven forbid he smile at nothing in general in front of his brother. The last time he’d done that and not immediately fessed up as to what he was thinking about, he had ended up on the receiving end of a headlock. Dean may have been shorter but the little bastard was wiry and strong. 

So now he waited until night fell and he could be alone with his thoughts. He would retire to his room under the pretense of reading. Most of the time he carried a book around with him for exactly that reason. His thoughts remained exclusively his if he let his mind wander while his eyes scanned the pages of a book, but the smiles, those he saved for when he was alone. Dean was a nosey bastard after all.

Some things Sam just didn’t feel like sharing. Like the time he got hot sauce poured down the front of his shirt in the second grade by Jerry Huffy, the biggest bully the school had, because he could read four levels ahead of Jerry. Who was in the fifth grade. Rather than Tell Dean would have knocked the bully into the next week, he simply said he had accidentally spilled it on himself. Really, he was doing Jerry a favor with that one.

Or the time Sam ran into Dean’s ex, Lauren. He could have called his brother and said he’d seen her, but he didn’t. They’d been attending school in different states at the time and Sam was bored, so he’d gone to see a movie. Lauren arrived with some friends and they got to talking. Talking led to a couple of drinks at a local bar, and the following morning he had quite a lot of pep in his step as he left her apartment to start the drive back to Lawrence. But Dean wouldn’t have understood. To his older brother, it would have been an insult, despite the fact that Dean was now in a solid, loving relationship with Cas (ABOUT DAMN TIME!). It was always about territory for Dean. Anyone Dean slept with was off limits. Well, Sam didn’t care. He’d had a wonderful night out with an old friend and it happened to lead back to her bedroom. And on all of his subsequent trips back to Lansing. 

So what if she made Sam happy? And so what if she said he was more attentive and sweet of a lover than his brother had been during their brief time together? 

And so what if Sam took a little pride in that fact?

The truth was, Sam had been in love with her for years. Long before he ever met Jess, and for long after as well. How could he not? Lauren was the epitome of grace and beauty. She was kind, gentle, humble, funny, just…perfect. He’d been thirteen when Dean had dated her. He’d just been a gangly kid that she would ruffle his hair and tell him he was adorable in front of Dean, but whenever Dean would leave the room she would turn to him and ask him how he was, what was going on with his life, and what his interests were. She showed interest in him as a person, not just as Dean’s little brother. When he told her he wanted to go to law school, she didn’t laugh. Instead she commended him on his goals and told him she believed wholeheartedly that he could do anything he put his mind to. Sure, Dean believed in him, but Dean also put itching powder in his shorts and drew mustaches on his face that said DICK in permanent marker while he was asleep. Lauren was just…Lauren, and she didn’t have to be anything else.

Dean dated her for six months. That was a long time for him, and Sam was impressed that she could put up with his attitude that long, but she did, and every time Sam saw her, he fell a little more in love with her. Her long, blonde hair reminded him of summer wheat, and her eyes, a deep, rich brown seemed to see right into his very soul, and she wasn’t frightened or disgusted by what she saw, not like their dad seemed to be. 

It was Dean meeting Carson that spelled the end of their relationship, or at least, that’s how he’d seen it. Sam was observant, almost to a fault some would say. He figured out right away that Carson’s interest in his brother had little to do with friendship and everything to do with getting in Dean’s pants. Of course Dean ran around declaring his heterosexuality so loudly that the more he proclaimed it, the more Sam started to wonder if his brother wasn’t really a closet homosexual, despite all of the girls he dated. He’d been with Dean the day they met Carson. Their dad had given them some money, a rare enough treat as it was and they’d decided to pool it and get a video game instead of wasting it on candy or junk food. Carson happened to be working at the gaming store and the moment he had laid eyes on Dean, Sam knew his brother was in trouble.

Carson had openly flirted and Sam had expected that Dean would rebel, become confrontational, maybe insult Carson and storm out of the store, dragging Sam along with him, but to his surprise Dean just batted his eyelashes and smiled at the compliments, the same way he had always done with girls, and all Sam could do was stand there and pretend he wasn’t seeing what he was seeing. He didn’t care that his brother found guys as attractive as he did girls. Or maybe even more attractive considering how hard Dean was flirting back. What he cared about was Lauren. They had bought the game and promptly gone home to play it, but Sam had seen Carson slip Dean his number, and he had seen the way he touched his brother’s arm before they walked out. Sam’s thoughts kept going to Lauren. If Dean was flirting with Carson, she would get hurt, and Sam didn’t want her getting hurt. Lauren was special. She deserved better. Still, Sam was loyal to his brother, and as of yet, all Dean had done was let the other boy flirt with him. It wasn’t like they’d gone out behind the game store to screw in a dark alley.

He wasn’t sure at what point Dean had actually gotten in contact with Carson, but suddenly the boy was coming around, sometimes with video games or movies, sometimes just to ask if Dean wanted to go hang somewhere. Sam would insist on tagging along when they went places, mostly out of a fierce sense of loyalty to Lauren. She deserved better. He knew Carson didn’t like him, and he certainly didn’t like it when he brought up Lauren every chance he got. After a while Dean got annoyed with him and one summer afternoon he told Sam he couldn’t come with him and Carson.

“Why?” He had tried the puppy dog eyes first. Dean wouldn’t budge.

“Because I want to hang out with my friend without my kid brother asking five million questions, or being rude. You know, you’re really rude to him. He thinks you hate him.” 

“I don’t hate him. I just don’t trust him.” Sam had watched as Dean got ready to go meet Carson. He was going through the same routine he did when he went out on dates with girls. Sam was no idiot.

“Do you like him?” He’d asked. Dean had given him a curious look.

“Well, yeah, he’s a cool guy.” He’d replied.

“No, I mean do you _like_ him. As in, more than Lauren?” Sam had crossed his arms and watched the myriad of emotions that crossed his brother’s face before he settled on a stony, anger filled one.

“What the hell kind of question is _that_? He’s my friend! Since we moved here I haven’t had very many. Why can’t you just accept that he likes me for me and finds me cool to hang out with too?”

Sam couldn’t help it. He rolled his eyes. Dean was in denial. AGAIN.

“Dean, I’m not an idiot. I see the way he looks at you, and the way you look at him. If you like him like that, it’s ok, but don’t do that to Lauren, she’s too good for that. Don’t hurt her.” 

Deflection was Dean’s go to reaction when he was uncomfortable with a topic of conversation and he punched Sam in the arm as he stepped around him.

“Ow!” Sam stuck out his lower lip in a pout as he rubbed his arm.

“That’s what you get for being a little bitch and sticking your nose into other peoples’ business.” Dean grabbed his leather jacket off the back of the bedroom door before he stepped out into the hall. Sam followed.

“If you sleep with him, I’m telling Lauren.” He knew he’d probably get his ass kicked for it, but he didn’t care. Dean spun around so fast, getting right in Sam’s face, snarling as he threatened his brother.

“If you say a single word to _my_ girlfriend about _anything_ I do, it will be the last thing you ever fucking do, have I made myself clear?”

Sam had nodded numbly, too scared to argue further. And then Dean was gone, running off to be with Carson instead of Lauren. The tears had come then. He shed them for his brother’s fear of rejection and for the role he felt he had to play in order to live up to their father’s expectations. He shed them for himself, for not being strong enough to stand up for his brother and convince him that he had nothing to be afraid of. That if he wanted to be with Carson instead of girls, it was OK. But mostly he shed them for Lauren. Sweet, sweet Lauren, who baked cupcakes on Saturdays just so she could bring some to Dean on Sundays after she got home from church. Lauren, who volunteered her free time at the local shelter, advocating on behalf of the animals tossed away by ignorant people until she could find them caring, loving homes. Lauren, who told Sam how she just knew he would grow up to be taller than his big brother, and more handsome too, and how she admired his brains as much as she did his heart. Lauren, who he was head over heels in love with.

An hour after Dean had left, she showed up to the house. Sam couldn’t help but be happy to see her. Her smile lit up a room like nothing else ever had, and she was always genuinely happy to see him. Even as he let her in and broke the news to her that Dean wasn’t home and likely wouldn’t be home for several more hours her smile never wavered.

“You’re home alone?” She had asked. He had looked at her, his cheeks flushing red as he nodded.

“My dad, he went to the bar after work, and Dean’s out with that guy Carson. They didn’t want me to tag along.” Technically he hadn’t said anything to her. He’d kept up his end of the bargain. Still, even if she figured things out on her own, Dean would find a way to blame it on him. It was part of Dean’s need for self-preservation. He understood though. If their dad suspected he was gay, he’d most likely get the ever lovin’ crap beaten out of him before he was tossed out on his ass. Unlike Sam, Dean was desperate to please their dad, and if that meant pretending to be something he wasn’t, he would go to any lengths to uphold that rouse. 

“I can stay if you want. We can watch a movie.” She offered. Sam couldn’t help but smile. 

“Ok. I-It was my birthday last week. I turned fourteen.” He didn’t know why he was telling her that other than that he wanted to impress her. She had smiled brightly at that.

“Oh! If I had known I’d have baked you a cake!”

“Dean did that. It was pretty good too.” He admitted.

“Well, we’ll call this your birthday movie, ok? Go pick something out, anything you want and we’ll watch it, ok?”

He had been thrilled by the idea of having Lauren all to himself, even if only for one evening. For a few hours he could pretend she was his girlfriend and not Dean’s. 

That she was as in love with him as he was with her.

He picked out a movie and they sat down on the couch to watch it. It was something he’d watched a dozen times before with Dean, but she’d never seen it before, and seeing her reactions was like experiencing it all over again for the first time. When the movie ended she urged him to put in another one. He knew she was just killing time until Dean got home. Whether or not she knew what her boyfriend was up to, Sam didn’t know, and he didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to live in the moment for once in his life, and focus solely on the beautiful girl at his side.

Halfway through the second movie the front door opened and Dean walked in. He was humming as he removed his jacket, a dopey smile on his face. Sam knew that face. That was his ‘ _I just got laid_ ’ face, and suddenly he was furious with his older brother.

“Hey, sweetie.” 

Dean nearly fell over as he spun around to face Lauren.

“Lauren! W-what are you doing here?” He glanced at Sam who couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“I came to see you, but you were out so since it was Sam’s birthday a few days ago I stayed to watch a couple of movies with him. We had fun.” She smiled warmly in the way that Sam wished with every fiber of his being that she would look at him. She moved closer, stepping into Dean’s personal space and wrapping her arms around his waist. He hugged her but even Sam could see how stiff it was. When she pulled back, she was frowning, sniffing at his clothes.

“Why do you smell all sweaty? You smell like you just had sex.” 

Sam’s heart broke in that moment. Quietly he rose from his seat on the couch, glancing at his brother who was standing in front of his girlfriend looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Sam didn’t envy him, but hey, Dean had made his own bed. It was time to lie down in it.

From the room he shared with his brother, Sam could hear snippets of their conversation. He expected rage, anger on Lauren’s part, but instead her tone had remained calm. When the front door opened and then closed a few minutes later, he knew she had left. He just hoped she was ok. The bedroom door opened a few minutes later and he steeled himself, ready to face his brother’s wrath, but it never came.

“Hey, Sammy.” He said as he fished through his drawer for clean boxers and sweatpants.

“Uh…hey.” Sam sat up and watched his brother. Dean’s shoulders were slumped and his head was hung. He gathered his clothes up and started for the door.

“Dean?”

His brother paused, one hand on the door knob and turned to look at him.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ok? Did…you and Lauren break up?” He asked.

Dean inhaled slowly, answering on the exhale. “Yeah…we did. She’s a great girl and I really like her, but…not the way she wanted me to.”

Sam swung his legs over the edge of the bed, squinting in confusion. “Dean, she’s in love with you.”

“I tried, Sammy. For Dad, I tried so hard…” There were tears in Dean’s eyes, something Sam rarely ever saw.

Sam got up and went to his brother, hugging him tight. “You’re perfect the way you are, Dean. Don’t ever feel like you have to be something you’re not.”

Dean hugged him back, sniffling against his younger brother’s hair.

“Yeah, I’m going to go take a shower now, then we can watch a movie, ok?”

Sam stepped back and nodded. “Is Lauren going to be ok?” Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, she’s going to be fine. Would you believe she came to break up with me? She said her feelings towards me have changed and that we’ve outgrown each other.” He snorted and shook his head. “Plus she said she…” He sighed and frowned down at the floor.

“She knew.” Sam said. For a moment Dean didn’t move, then he gave the tiniest of nods.

“Go take your shower. I want to watch Mad Max when you get out.” 

Dean looked up, that cocky smile of his returning. “You got it kiddo. And I’ll make some parmesan popcorn too.” 

“Yes!” Sam fist pumped the air, making his brother laugh. He was glad he could make his brother smile. Sometimes it was the little things that mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam was thirty three and still harboring the same secret he’d held onto for twenty years. The time had arrived though to fess up, to face Dean’s wrath. Lauren had told him she loved him. She wanted him to move out there by her. To live _with_ her. He was actually considering proposing. 

And Dean had no idea they were together.

He paced in his room, trying to figure out the right thing to say that would keep Dean from hating him. When there came a knock on his door he actually jumped, feeling as though his heart has just leapt into his throat.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Sam? It’s Cas. Can I come in?”

Sam perked up at the idea. He could tell Cas. Cas would be supportive, he always was.

“Yeah, come in. I was hoping I could talk to you about something anyway.” He say down on the edge of his bed and waited. When the door opened, Cas smiled as he walked in.

“Close the door, would you?” 

Cas did as asked and turned to face him, stuffing his hands in his pocket. 

“What was on your mind?” Sam asked.

“Oh, well…next month is Christmas and I was thinking of getting Dean an automatic starter for the Impala. Do you think he’d actually install it though? Or would I be wasting my money?” Cas asked. 

“Well, between you and me, he’s been thinking of getting one for a few years now, he just grumbles a lot about the cost, so if you buy one for him, he won’t have any excuse not to put it in. Plus if you look at him with big, heart eyes he’ll cave and probably get up to go install it right then.”

They both laughed and Cas moved over to the armchair in the corner to sit down. “I have other gifts planned, but I want him to be warm when he gets out to his car.” He said as he crossed his legs.

“You finally going to propose?” Sam asked. Cas’ smile grew wider and he glanced down at the pocket of his sweater before his smile got even bigger.

“You are! Dude! Let me see!” Sam jumped up as Cas reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet box. He opened it and Sam let out an impressed whistle.

“Nice. He’s going to love it.” He returned to his seat and Cas put the box back in his pocket.

“Do you think he’ll say yes or try to pull that macho bullshit first?” Cas asked. Cas knew Dean as well as Sam did. After ten years together, he better!

“Bullshit, and then complain that he wanted to be the one to propose first. I bet he even has a preacher and the venue picked out already.” Sam laughed. 

“Knowing Dean? He probably does.” Cas agreed. He tilted his head and eyed Sam for a moment. “So what’s on your mind? Because clearly something is.”

Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m…seeing someone.”

Cas’ sat forward, his interest peaked. “Oh? Do tell. Is she beautiful?”

“She’s gorgeous. There’s a problem though and I sort of need some advice.” Sam replied.

“Ok, shoot.” Cas motioned for him to continue.

“Well, I’ve been living with you guys for way too long now. After Jess…well, I should have just sucked it up and moved on, gotten my own place.” Sam said. Cas frowned.

“No, you’re family, Sam. You were always welcome here, forever if that’s how long you want to stay. Now tell me, what is the problem with your girl? Does she want to move in here too?” He cocked an eyebrow playfully which made Sam smile.

“Oh God no! But…she wants me to move in with her. Soon. And I sort of want to bring her here for the holidays.” 

“I am not seeing the dilemma of which you are so worried.” Cas sat back, crossing his legs once again and waiting.

“She’s…one of Dean’s exes.” Sam winced as Cas sucked air in and grimaced.

“Oh, wow. Please tell me it’s not Cassie or Rhonda.”

“No way! Her name is Lauren.” Sam replied.

Cas was clearly running through his memory bank, trying to fish the name out from the ones Dean had mentioned. 

“Wait, is she the one he came out to?” 

Sam nodded. “Yeah. I ran in to her when I was in college, and we hooked up. We actually hooked up a few times, and then I started going to see her regularly. All those ‘business’ trips I take? They’re to see her.”

Cas chuckled. “You sly dog, you. So I’m guessing you're worried that Dean will be mad.”

“Yeah. He sort of gets territorial.” Sam admitted. That made Cas frown.

“She doesn’t belong to him, and she never did. If she’s the one I think she is, he barely got fuzzy feelings for her. He tried to because your father expected it of him, but he couldn’t. Fell for some boy named…” He had to think about that one.

“Carson. Yeah. He decided to just be done with the lies once and for all, and he came out. That was when our dad kicked him out of the house.” Sam said softly. It still pained him to think of how cruel their father been to Dean.

“And you left right after him, moving in with Dean to support him.” Cas said. Sam smiled.

“Yeah, I knew he’d self-destruct if I wasn’t there. The thing with Carson was brief. I was right, he was using Dean, but it opened the door for other guys. And then he met you, so it’s all good.” 

Cas smiled and nodded. “Yeah, he was still a hot mess when I met him, trying to figure himself out and figure out what he wanted out of life. I waited until he got his shit in order before I made a move.”

“Seriously? I didn’t know you liked him way back then.” Sam was surprised to hear that.

“I fell in love with your brother practically the day I met him, but he frustrated me so much back then. Once he got his act together though, I did ask him out. The rest is history.” Cas shrugged, a smug smile on his lips. He tilted his head, his expression growing serious once more.

“So, this Lauren. Do you have a picture of her?”

Sam whipped his phone out so fast it made Cas laugh. He pulled up a picture he’d taken a month earlier of the two of them at her sister’s wedding. Cas took the phone and looked at it.

“She is gorgeous. I can see why you like her.” 

“No, that’s not why I like her. I have been in love with her since I was thirteen and I first laid eyes on her. Back then she was flat chested, had pimples, her hair was teased up in this horrid fashion, and she wore blue eye shadow.” Sam shuddered thinking of how she had dressed back then. “But as a person she was beautiful, you know? So sweet and gentle, and she didn’t look at me like I was her boyfriend’s annoying little brother.” Sam wanted Cas to understand. If Cas understood then maybe Dean would too. Cas smiled softly.

“She saw _you_.”

Sam snapped his fingers and pointed at the other man. “Exactly. She made me feel like I was important, like what I had to say mattered. Dean was the only other person that made me feel like that, and that was only when he wasn’t sticking Nair in my shampoo or slapping ‘Kick Me’ stickers on my back. She was always just so sweet. I fell hard for her. Thing is, she’s still just as sweet and amazing, and I didn’t think it was possible to love her any more than I already did, but…I do. I…want to marry her. Not right now, but someday.”

“Wow. I can’t wait to meet her, she sounds amazing.” Cas didn’t sound concerned by the fact that this was his boyfriend’s ex that he could, theoretically, end up with as his sister in law someday.

“She is. Shit, I love her so much it physically hurts when I’m away from her.” Sam told him.

“What about your job?” Cas asked.

“I lined up a new, higher paying one by her.” Sam replied.

“Well, I say go for it. She sounds like the love of your life and you’d be an idiot to let her go.” Cas said.

“Yeah, but…how do I tell Dean?”

Cas tapped his chin as he considered the question. “Come with me.” He got up and left the bedroom. Sam was curious as to what the man had in mind and he followed him to the kitchen where Dean was busy cooking. He looked up, smiling when he saw them walk in.

“Hey, what are you two doing?” He asked.

“Talking.” Cas replied.

Dean cocked an eyebrow. “Anything interesting?”

“Sam got a new job.” Cas replied.

“Cas!” Sam hissed. Dean set down the roast he had just taken out of the oven and removed the oven mitts. 

“You applied for another job? I thought you were happy at your job.” 

“I am, but…” Sam ran a hand nervously through his hair. Why was Cas putting him on the spot like this?!

“Sam has a girlfriend. He’s moving out, moving in with her, and the job pays a lot better. And you, my darling, are not going to treat him like a piece of shit for wanting his own life either.” Cas warned.

“What? I would never do that! I’m happy for you, Sammy. What’s her name, and why did I not know you even had a girlfriend? Where have you been hiding her?” Dean laughed. He stirred a pot of mashed potatoes and added a pat of butter as Sam tried to work up the nerve to tell Dean everything.

“Her name…is Lauren.” He cringed and actually took a step to the left so that he was standing behind Cas. Dean was still stirring the potatoes, adjusting the heat.

“Cool. Where did you meet her?”

Cas snorted which made Dean look up. He looked between his brother and his boyfriend. “What exactly am I missing here? I feel like I’ve been left out of the joke.”

“It’s Lauren, Dean. Lauren Aimes?” Sam chewed nervously on his lower lip as he watched Dean’s expression go from neutral to one of shock.

“My Lauren?” He glanced nervously at Cas who pursed his lips in annoyance.

“Yeah.” Sam gave a quick nod. For a long time no one spoke. It was clear Dean was trying to process.

“Dean, did you love her?” Cas asked. His boyfriend looked up sharply.

“What? No, I…couldn’t. I tried, my dad…” He shook his head. “No.”

“Does it bother you that she’s in love with Sam?” Cas pressed. Dean looked up at his brother for a long time before he spoke again.

“You guys are pretty serious if you’re planning to move in with her. Do you love her?” He finally asked.

“I’ve loved her since I was thirteen.” Sam revealed. He expected his brother to be mad about that but he just snorted and went back to stirring the potatoes.

“Yeah, I kind of figured. I got the impression she liked you too, but you were young and she probably thought it would be creepy since she was almost eighteen.”

Sam’s jaw dropped. “So…you’re not mad.” He wanted to be absolutely sure Dean wasn’t going to duct tape him to the bed later while he slept and put electrified nipple clamps on his private bits out of pure anger. Dean shook his head.

“Nah. I got the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can’t hang on to the past, a certain blue eyed man taught me that.” He pulled Cas over and kissed his cheek. Cas smiled and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist.

Sam let out a sigh of relief. “I want to bring her home for Christmas, is that ok?”

Dean nodded. “Anything you want, Sammy. I won’t be awkward, I promise.”

Sam smiled excitedly. “I have to go call her and tell her!” He started to leave the kitchen but turned back again. “I sort of have one more confession.”

Dean paused in his cooking and looked up expectantly. 

“I…sort of kissed her when you guys were dating. I had the biggest crush on her, and she was so pretty and nice, and I did, I kissed her, and she told me I was sweet but that she didn’t want things to be weird between you and me. It was the night you two broke up.” Sam looked worriedly at his brother. He could tell Cas had tightened his hold on Dean’s waist. But suddenly Dean burst out laughing.

“So she was your first kiss _and_ your first love? That’s priceless!”

“What’s so funny?” Sam demanded. He was not used to his brother being so…accepting of things.”

“Do you want to know what she said to me right before she walked out of my life for good?” Dean asked.

“What?”

“She told me that I was perfect, just the way I was, and that I didn’t have to let my dad or anyone else try to convince me otherwise. She told me if I liked boys, it was ok, that no one had the right to pass judgement on me. And do you know what my first thought was?” Dean was grinning like a mad man at that point.

“No, what?” Sam wondered.

“The first thought that passed through my head was ‘Wow, that sounds _exactly_ like something my brother would say! My second thought was that you should have been the one dating her, not me. Funny how that worked out.” Dean mused. He looked at Cas who smiled and squeezed him tighter.

“Life has a funny way of working out so that we get what we really want, doesn’t it.” He said.

“I agree. I’m going to go and call her now.” Sam started to leave when he heard his brother calling after him.

“Hey, Sammy? Tell her I said hi. And tell her she definitely got the better of the Winchester brothers!” 

Sam smiled all the way back to his room.

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you liked it. Yes, Dean was a bit of a dick, but in this verse he grew up gay in a house with a homophobic father that he was desperate to please, and that causes a lot of identity issues and a poor self-esteem when one doesn't get the love they really need. And his threats were pretty empty. Sam was his best friend and his life, he was just scared. I hope you all understand that.
> 
> Well, leave me a comment, leave a kudos, let me know what you thought.


End file.
